“Bakhtin seems language—itself too dead and reified a term—as a landscape of interacting forces, a field of energies that penetrate and withdraw, that converge and break up…It is a multivoiced plurality…It is dialogic because even the most complete monologic utterance can never be understood in and of itself, always being part of a wider context” (Zebroski 186).
Ah Mikhail Mikhailovich Bakhtin… it’s been awhile since I’ve pondered on the work of this rebellious russion philologist, though his concepts of Centripetal/Centrifugal forces are always in the back of my mind, especially as I engage in any sort of web-based production, such as this blog. While I am sure I will return to these simultaneous pushing and pulling forces in reference to digital media, this week’s cogitating revolves around the idea of opposing forces in general. In my teaching writing graduate class, we discussed Zebroski’s proposal that studying the insider/outsider dichotomy can be achieve through an ethnography assignment. This raised the question of whether most students are cut out for the complex task of being an insider/outsider, to be immersed in a culture yet still be a fly on the wall observer. For the sake of time constraints, especially in the community college setting, I suggested an autoethnography, which made for an even more complicated task—how to examine one’s own culture critically? This is a task I feel the most comfortable with, looking at my life from a distance. I wonder if there are some of us that grow up with the dual lenses firmly in place, always dealing with the clashing perspectives of being an insider and an outsider.
As I stare at my expanding belly, sometimes in bewilderment, I am more conscious than ever of the simultaneous feelings of familiarity and foreignness. This is my body, but it is also not my body. I came into this with my tastes firmly in place: I enjoyed flavored coffee, peanut butter, French onion soup; the list goes on and on. And many of my favorite tastes, dishes, drinks, I no longer enjoy. I am myself, but I am also part of this other entity. And I am not sure how “I” will come out changed after the separation.
This blog entry and weblog as a whole is my own attempt at trying to the two opposing forces of the abstract and the personal. As this attempt illustrates, it is hard to do this well or in tight little interesting nugget that would translate to an outside reader.
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